Island

I don't like working on my team. Basically because they are a bunch of two faced vindictive bitches.

I have always had a problem when working with women, in the fact that I feel uncomfortable working with them...Men are fine, men get on with things and have a laugh and a joke and everyone gets along. Womenn, especially youngerwomen I find, are judgemental, over-critical, two faced and nasty.

On my team there are 13 people, Three of whom are men. Paul is lovely, really friendly and chatty, Mike is quiet and works hard, mark is grumpy, but ok, tho I don't think he likes anyone very much...Then the women..Sarah, is nice but has a tendency of giving too much information, for instance aboiut the brazilian...I'm not saying anymore than that. Amanda, who is lovely, and I would marry her if she would have me...not that I've asked her, but I can dream. Jo, currently off sick and one ofthe most innofensive people you could meet, nice to everyone. Jane, also off sick and unlikely to return, quiet and worried and nice.Michelle, the deputy, comes across as nice, bbut talks down to people, bitches about them behind their backs and generally thinks she's better than everyone else. Yvonne,can be nice to your face, but more often than not is just as nasty to your face as she is behind your back. Not a pleasant woman to be around. Ali, the boss...I don't know about her, as on her own she is lovely, good to talk to and compassionate, but in the company of Yvonne and Michelle, she gets drawn in to the bbitching and slagging off. Justine, similar to Ali, but I wouldn't trust her to keep a secret. Cat, a ginger rocker, so we should have stuff in common, but she seems to stick with yvonne and michelle in most things...I believe it has something to do with the mother connection, as ali, cat, michelle, justine, yvonne and sarah all have youngish children.Amanda and I are the only girls on the team without kids, Jane is off all the time so is not well liked by the 'bitches', and they are always slagging sarah off behind her back.

To be honest I'm sick of it all...Me, Amanda and Sarah sit at the end of the desks, and get ignored for the most part...there is the clique of mothers in the middle, and the lads tend to huddle for proyection at the other end of the desks.

It's depressing. Plus my job, even tho I'm getting paid more, is even more boring than the AA stuff I was doing, and because I'm so obsessive compulsive about how I like my work organised, every time I walk past the post and wallet trays at the nd of the desks, my fingers start twitching wanting to sort them out, even tho its temporarily not my job anymore. The other AA's are supposed to be doing the work of keeping the spreadsheets up to date and handing out the work and filing it away, but, I don't know if they are doing it right...I say right, there's not really a right way, just they won't be doing it MY way.

I'm just picky. And I think I've started feeling ann attraction towards Pete, an AA on my command...I was fine until I found out that he's all vulneravle and stuff cos of messy divorce type things going on...It's sick, I'm attracted to vulnerable, damaged men. Why? I have no idea, but it has got to stop. I'm not going to let this silly wobbly moment go anywhere. I doubt Pete would be interested anyway, but even if he was it's not ever going to happen.

And why do people always assume that because your single, that you need setting up with someone? I'm sick of work colleagues telling me I need a man...they don't know me...they don't know what I need or what I want out of life...they see a girl in work, but they barely scratch the surface of who I am inside. I let slip more than I wanted to tonight talking to Ali, let some of my sadness show through a bit, but I doubtvshe noticed much.

This post has rambled quite a lot, and I'd almost forgotten what I'd typed at the top of it, but yeah, in work I am like an island in a sea of fear and insecurity and judgement and bitterness and criticism. I live in my little bubble, hiding myerlf from them all.