Interference
I hate it when she interferes in my life. She strips away every tiny bit of independance I have and makes me feel useless and pathetic, and whats worse is she doesn't listen to anythinng I say.
She can't close her mouth and shut the fuck up for two seconds. She goes through my stuff on the pretense of " I had some washing to do but I didn't have enough for a full load so I got some of yours...You don't mind do you?" I don't want her in my room, I don't trust her, not after she read my diary, and opened my bank statements.
Frankly I'm sick of living in that house, sick of being spoken to like one of her special needs school kids, sick of being treated like I'm retarded, sick of the constant winging, sick of the endless drivel that comes out of her mouth that fills up the blessed silence with meaningless noise. No wonder I can only spend at most an hour in her company, and even that is too much.
Christmas was hell, weekends I spend wandering the streets just to get away from the bitching and prattling. I'm losinng my mind as it is.
I didn't sleep well last night despite the nytol, I had nightmares of being trapped in a dark room surrounded by howling, I was screaming but I couldn't escape. And another dream about my cousins baby girl playing on a busy road and I couldn't reach her no matter how hard I tried, and the cars were speeding towards her. And the worst being in a house with Ben, Gary and Sam, and Gary had overdosed onn heroin, and I was screaming at him, and he was dying, and when I turned to Sam and Ben for help they just laughed at me and their eyes were hungry and their teeth sharpened fangs.
I feel like shit, and tomorrow I have to have an induction to start my temporary promotion, even though I already work there. It's pointless and stupid, I just want to curl up in a ball and hide from everything. I don't want to go to work, I don't want to go on this stupid staff night out, and I don't want to see anyone... everythinng I do hurts, I just want to stop hurting. Is that too much to ask?
3 Comments:
can't you get a room to rent in a shared house, or through the council, or, hell, go to aus with gary!
I know you would struggle with your sight and I know you need to be able to get help if you are having problems with your diabetes, but I've known people severely disabled and wheelchair bound living indipendant lives. You need to get away. The more she tries to keep you a child the more she loses you as a person. chris x
sounds like those pills are bit strong giving u nitemares.
i wouldnt mind her doing my washing. send her over here to do mine. got 2 be cheaper than the laundret. wot u paying rent?
I refuse to live with people I don't know...I'd rather live on my own, and I still can't afford it'
And who ever you are, you don't want her doing your washing, cos when she does mine she can't be bothered separating darks from lights, she does when she does her own, but not when she does mine..all my white tops are now grey. And she shrinks my jumpers.
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