16 Days

He's been off the stuff for 16 days. Thats the longest he's been off it in 12 months.

I think he's going to be ok now.He is stronger than he thinks he is.

I'm proud of him anyway for getting this far, he deserves to be free.

I dreamed that Ben tried to kill me last night. I went to Sam's flat in my dream, and the door was open, when I went up to his room he was hanging by a rope from the ceiling, still alive, but choking, I went to help get him down, but suddenly Ben was there, he pushed me down and started to strangle me, and I was trying to fight him off, and all I could think was that I had to get to Sam. I could feel the pain in my chest from lack of air, and I attacked his face with my nails, and dug my thumbs into his eyes so he let go and fell backwards down the stairs. I scrambled to my feet, and ran to Sam and cut him down, except it wasn't Sam anymore, it was Ben's girlfriend Taz, and I was too late. Sam was sitting in the corner of the room, rocking backwards and forwards and singing nursery rhymes, and Terry ws painting circles on the walls in blood.

I woke up drenched in sweat trying to shake off the images. It was horrible, terrifying and disturbing.

I think I may need help. I just ate a whole cheesecake.