Love

Love is a funny thing, and I don't mean funny ha ha. It's fickle and flighty and waxes and wanes like the moon, and you never quite know what to make of it.

I think I have found the meaning of unconditional love.

People go on about there's no such thing as unconditional love, people love in return for being loved or in return for something.

When you actually find unconditional love it is a rare, a beautiful and an amazing thing and it should be treasured for as long as it lasts, because just because it is unconditional, doesn't mean it will necessarily last forever. People change after all.

Take Gary. I love him. Right now in my life I feel like I always will. I may do, I can't seee the future, I don't know what is going to happen, but I love him now. I was thinking about him, I think about him a lot. He's going through a really rough time at the moment, struggling with alll thats going on, and most of the time he doesn't answer my calls, or reply to my texts, but I still love him. It doesn't matter to me that he's unemployed, or that he's struggling with drugs, the strength he's showing in getting free of it is inspiring...it's partly that that is making me want to go in for the counselling course, to help more people like him. It makes me love him more.

It doesn't matter to me what he does with his life, he could be a famous rock star, an IT tech, a floor polisher, a drug addict or just a guy without a job, I'd still love him. He doesn't even have to call me, or see me.

I love him even tho he's with someone else, and would love him if he was with me, or if he decided to go it alone. I can't imagine not loving him.

It all sounds very twee and cheesy, but it's how I feel. I would do anything for him, and I mean anything. I'd give my life to save his if it came to it. I know people say that all the time, but I believe it's true...of course you never really know what you'd do in that situation, but I believe it.

Gary gave me something no-one else could. He gave me faith, or at least the seeds of faith, the wisdom to open my mind and look properly at the world and see how amazingly beautiful it is. And in seeing that beauty, I found the knowledge, and faith that God's hand is in everything.

I know that statement might worry a few people. I'm not turning into a religious nut, I'm not going to go all preachy and start bashing non-believers. I believe that everyone has freedom of choice...if you choose to believe or not, that is up to you, but I just know. I can feel something deep inside me that makes me feel...I dunno complete somehow, and I didn't even realise it was there.

Don't get me wrong...I think religion is utter shite. Elements of every religion are good and right. But elements are wrong..For the simple fact that religions are created by men, and usually men with power, who have ideas and rules and structuresthat might seem right in their eyes, but utterly wrong in someone elses eyes.

Religion causes a lot of pain and destruction...Holy wars, the crisis in the middle east, the holocaust, northern ireland...perhaps not all immediately caused by religion, but religion plays a big part in the hatred that follows and continues to breed. God would not want this.

Even down to the little nuances of individual religions and the strange ideas created by religions. Idea's like original sin nd such.

I don't know where I'm going with this anyhow...I started talking about Gary, and now I'm on to God and religion, and It's started getting preachy so I think I'll shut up.

But I'll say one last thing.

Next time you're out, look up at the sky...doesn't matter waht time of day it is, morning, evening, night time. Or what the weather is like, it could be cloudy or sunny, raining or snowing. Just look up at the sky, and see how amazingly beautiful it is. A wintry grey sky, with the shades and billows of the clouds, or a perfect crisp blue, the golden pink of a dawn or sunset, or one of those days when the sun shines through the breaks in the clouds and it's almost like you can see the light from heaven shining through.

It was the sky that convinced me. And even if it doesn't convince you, or you just believe in science rather than God, at least appreciate the beauty of the sky, be it heaven-sent, or scientific artistry.