What to write?

Indeed what to write... My mate is going into hospital next week, hopefully anyway, to detox, then he might be goinjg to Aus for a couple of months so we can finally get him off the stuff. It is killing him. He's had a very shit time over the past year or so, and he's not coping, or rather he is coping by taking drugs, which boils down to the same as not coping. It breaks my heart to see him killing himself by inches, knowing there's very little I can do. I miss how he used to be.

Life is great at kicking you when your already down, great at stamping on you when you're already face down in the mud. Half the time I feel like I/m drowning anyway, and then something happens and not only am I drowning but I'm drowning in shit.

I'm sick of fighting all the time, sick of struggling with everything, and I'm really beginning to wish I hadn't got drunk, and stoned last night, cos it's beginning to affect my mind... Not that I wasn't going crazy in the first place, cos I was, but I needed to chill out, and it worked for a few hours, but now I just feel miserable. So what do I need to spend the rest of my life smashed out of my skull, or twitchy and paranoid, or suicidally depressed? Thats not a great choice by anybody's standards.

I think I'll get some sleep, I might feel better in the morning...?