nothing left to say

Don't know why I'm writing this, got nothing to say really. I suppose it's just something to do instead of sitting in my room staring at the walls. The tears of last night have given me a sore eye, all red and bloodshot... heh. Is about right for the way today has gone really. Got myself a pseudo-stalker at the gym, followed me round talking at me for half an hour. I went after work, more as something to do to get me out of the house, than for any particular desire to make myself fit. They said when I got there that they had charged me the wrong rate when I joined, and that I owe them £74, I need to pay it asap. I'm kinda pissed off about it, cos I signed the document to say I'd pay so much and now they're trying to take more off me...Don't know where I stand on whether I have to pay it when it was their mistake and not mine. Need to find out soon tho. At least it gave me something to be pissed about, been kinda numb today, felt like I wanted to cry at one point, but there were no tears to come. The only time I've felt anything was when a customer said 'smile, it can't be that bad'. It made me angry. I know he was only trying to be nice, but with respect, what the FUCK does he know about me or my life? Nothing, thats what. He comes in a couple of times a week and sees my face, I serve him, take his money and he fucks off again, he doesn't know me aside from what I look like, he doesn't know what is happening in my life..for all he knows, my entire family might have been killed in a freak accident. It's unlikely, granted, but possible. So how the fuck can he generalise that 'it can't be that bad'?
I'm over reacting aren't I? I am, I know I am, but I can't seem to stop, it's either over reacting or nothing today I'm afraid.
And I have to work early tomorrow because we're getting new tills (woo hoo) next week, and bob, joan and brian are on a course so they can teach us how to use them. That should be fun. I guess I'll be on checkouts all fucking day again, like today and yesterday, and, oh surprise! The day before too. Can't wait til Jean gets back so I can get off the bastard checkouts for five fucking minutes. I'm swearing too much, is the kind of mood I'm in tonight, don't want to talk to anyone, and my mum has been wittering at me about Caroline's mother again, I've heard it all before, I agree with most of it, but lets face it, my mum is like I am (god forbid), she says she will do this and that and say this and that but she never will. And ending my ear about it doesn't do any good, cos I'm certainly not going to take on caroline's mum and risk alienating caroline and Chris. Her mother is an interfering old busybody tho, and doesn't seem to want to leave her kids alone to live their own lives. Mum's theory is that it was for this reason that Caroline's first husband fucked off and left her for another woman. Huge leaps of logic there, but it's possible it could have been a contributing factor.
Shit, she has me doing it now. Gonna shut up and go to bed I think. Maybe some sleep will improve my mood. Hah, maybe it won't.