Doctor, doctor, I feel a little down in the mouth....

...Here is a leaflet about counselling, stop taking the pills and come see me next week for some other pills then.
Which is pretty much what Dr Hare said this morning when I went to see her. She seemed to agree with my thoughts that the pills weren't working as they should and gave me three options...increase the dose, leave it for a while as it was, or stop them and start something new next week. I wasn't sure, but I felt that the Dothiepin wasn't really helping that much.
So I have an appointment to see her next week and she will try me on something else. Don't know what yet, but if whatever it is helps, then it can only be good.
The counselling I am not at all sure about, but I din't have the energy to argue with her about it, I'm going to go when I get the appointment, it might help, but I find it difficult talking to people I know about the shit that goes on in my head, never mind a stranger. I will give it a go tho.
She also suggested I should talk to my family about how I'm feeling. I don't know, I've never really found it easy to talk to my mum and dad, I used to alk to my brother a bit, but he has moved out now and I hardly see him, my mum hogs him whenever he comes round, plus he has enough to worry about what with wedding plans and money troubles. I kinda miss the fact that he's not there tho. Oh my god, that brought tears to my eyes, I'm crying because I miss my brother. Never thought I'd do that. Dammit I need a tissue I can't see the screen.
Going to the doctor made me a bit thoughtful and down, it's like when I go, I have to think about it and confront it...normally I can hide from it, tho not very well, but talking to the doctor brings it all to the surface. Despite that I've been quite cheerful this afternoon and evening. Until now. Can't seem to stop the tears. I have another week of this until I see the doctor again. Oh shit.