After 30
It feels kinda bad when all of the mates you're still in touch with, that you went to school with are married, with or without kids, or attatched with or without kids, and all the approaching 30 girls from work are either married, getting married or running round freaking out because they need to get married before they hit 30.
It's not like I didn't ask all the single persons I knew if they'd marry me. Yes on february 29th I asked all five of my single friends to marry me. Here's the breakdown... One non reply that was Terry, but he may have been stoned so I'll let him off. One I'll let you know next leap yer...That was Sam. One don't be silly it's meant to be girls asking boys...that was Sarah. One yes of course from Hab, and one yes but I'd rather live in sin from Joey... Living in sin is fine by me lol. Technically tho, if you're religious christian, biblical etc, I think actually marrying someone of the same sex as you could well be about as sinful as you get...short of murder and covetting your neighbour's ox and stuff. Personally I think that God just wants people to be happy and healthy and not murdering and declaring war on eachother.
Any way, turning 30 feels nasty. I don't want to be the only girl from my year not married/sprogified or at least in a meaningful relationship, i.e. one that isn't doomed to fail from the beginning because the other person is either married, a total fuck up, a conniving cunt (sorry) or just not interested.
Are there any people out there apart from Hab and Joey, who would actually want to marry for who I am, who would love me for the person I am inside, warts and all, who would see my heart and soul and want me...and I mean single unnattached not married people here... cos I know at least one person who feels that way, but well..lets just not go there.
On the other hand, do I really need to be part of a couple...I could break the mould and chuck the 'how to be a good 30 year old' rule book right out of the window, and Not be attached, not be married (well thats a certain one anyway) and not have kids (also a certain) and just float onwards doing what I do, i.e moan about being single, fail to pull anyone ever and sit at my desk typing away on this thing., oh and live with my parents until they or I go mad.
Hmm. Let's think about this one...
2 Comments:
Why do you want to get married? It changes absolutely nothing.
I got married because it felt like the right thing to do, and at times it's be so painful I've really had to fight to make it work, and to convince myself it's worth making it work. At the moment it's amazing and special and wonderful, and I'm working on keeping it that way.
If you feel that strongly about it, why don't you marry hab or joey?
There is no rule book for being 30, or even for living.. you just have to be the person you want to be and see what happens. Fuck what everyone thinks, as long as you aren't deliberately hurting anyone.
xxC
Because I asked them in the same way that I asked Sam, and in the same way that they took it...as a joke. Besides I'm not in love with Hab, he's a lovley bloke, but we're just mates...and I think he may be in love with someone else? And Joey...well Joey is beautiful and sexy and funny and gorgeous, and also a really really good friend. The one person I already knew I wanted to marry, I didn't ask. It's far too late for that.
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