Pete

Well what can I say about Pete. I finally realised something...that despite the fact that I did love him, he treated me like utter shit throughout our relationship. He let me cook for him, clean for him, lend him money to buy beer, let him blame me for every problem we had and let him make me feel guilty for ending the relationship. So finally at the end of it all he forced me to hate him. And I know he still reads this cos he's too fucking sad to let go. Yeah he said he love me..and people have said he told them he loved me. He had a fucking shit way of showing it. He was an inherantly selfish, self absorbed bastard who loved his play station more than anything else...how many weekends did I spend watching him play games either on the playstation or the pc? So many I can't count...I'd come in from work late to find him playing the playstation with the flat in a tip and the wadhing up piling up higher in the sunk. He made me feel worthless and unwnted and unloved. He starved me of affection and took away my self esteem...but if we went out he guarded me like an angry dog like I was going to run off with the first man that showed me any attention, like he knew he wasn't treating me right and expected me to run off. What he didn't get was that I loved him and all I wanted was for him to show me love, but instead I had to battle with a PS2 for attention. And he cheated on me. I know this. And I'm not talking about the times we broke up and he fucked the firsy luttle whore he could find. I heard him on the phone one night a few days before we broke up once. I heard him say the words 'I love you too'. And then when we broke up he got his little tart up from carduff to shag. Vecause that was ok...if we weren't together it wasn't cheating..yeah ok that's technically not cheating, he's got me on that one. But the way I found out was because I found her knickers in our bed when we'd got back together. If I hadn't found them I don't think he'd have told me. So why am I sayingall this now? Call it counselling if you will, I had to say all this to be free of it. I'm rebuilding my life again after he virtually destroyed it. He made me feel worthless, and it's taken me more than twelve months to try and find some self esteem and independance, because he made me feel like I couldn't survive without him, that I needed someone to make me whole again. He nearly broke me, but I'm stronger now and I'm never going to let anyone else treat me the way he did.