Bad Decisions

So, I'm emotionally FUBAR.
Sleeping with Leigh was not a good idea, n any sense, and I completely regret it.
Now he's totally fucked up, I quite simply cannot feel anything at all, and the whole situation is a total messed up nightmare.

Seeing him, what I've done to him... I'm never going to forgive myself, it's like a part of me has died, the part of me that matters and cares and is nice to people. She's gone, and all that's left is this hard, cold, unfeeling shell.

When I left his house, he stood there and he begged me to stay. The look in his eyes was worse than any knife blade. I felt something break inside me, and ... well I walked away.

I can't cry. I've caused him so much pain, and I can't cry...I'm just cold and dead. There's no going back from this, we might heal, seperately, but the rest is so fucked up that we will never manage to be friends.