uterly destroyed

Leigh Loves Me.

That is a very bad thing.

He is a wonderful, caring, cuddly, sexy, fantastic man.

And I can't love him back because....? Why indeed can I not let myself love him?

Well it's fear mainly...fear that what I might be feeling might not be real, fear of hurting him and fear of getting hurt, fear of taking a chance and getting my hearttrampled again. Fear of finding out that what I think I might maybe be feel is just a ghost of something that died a long time ago, or a nasty little reflection of what Ido feel for Gary.


And Leigh can't cope with being around me in the friend zone. He loves me, he wants to make me happy, and apparently he wants to spend ever wking minute of his life with me because and I quote 'no-one has ever made him feel the way I do' think his words were vulnerable and safe at the same time...and that scared the sit out of me, bcause I didn't think anyone could possible understand the way I feel about Gary until Leigh said those words about me. I don't want to be the one to hurt Leigh, and selfish tho I am in the fact that I want to spend time with him because I enjoy his company, and he gets me, and I want to be in his company, Ican't make him, because it's killing him.

I cried al wednesday night when he texted me to tell me.

I cried a lot in the pub yesterday when we met p to talk about it.

I've cried a lot over this, and it makes me wonder if I do feel more than just friendship for him. Noone should really get this upset over a guy that you've only been mates with for a couple of months. Should they?

I don't know what to do. I know what he wants but I'm afraid to get involved incase I end up screwing things up and hurting him even more than I do already.

8.8.8/35