Distant friends

Chris invited me to see Queen live in Hyde Park. Her parents had bought tickets but it had to be rescheduled for obvious reasons, and they couldn't go on the new date. Unfortunately it is next friday, so there is no way I can get time off to go. Damn and Buggery. Quite apart from the fact that I'd love to see Queen live (or more accurately whats left of them...Poor Freddie :-( ), it would be a great opportunity to see Chris and catch up on everything. I don't see nearly enough of my wonderful best mate. I'm gonna have to make more of an effort to go see her, and Beth, and Clare later this year. I'm thinking if job stuff works out, then I'll book a couple of weekends off and go visit people.
On a less good note it's 5 weeks on sunday that me and Pete split up, and it would have been our 3 year anniversary next wednesday. I'm not coping too well with that. But Pete has been text poking me and making me feel better. He's a good guy, if a little crazy.
I noticed something the other day, I don't really know what it means...when I was in work and some girls came in wearing next to nothing, I saw em, and I looked, but it didn't make me go 'ooh, sexy ladies' or anything. Is like I can't feel anymore. Maybe it's just a self preservation thing, I'm not feeling a hell of a lot at the moment, I guess numb is the word, and it's depressing me. And scaring me slightly. Avtually if I think about that more carefully, I do feel stuff, just generally I'm too busy thinking about the bad stuff to notice the good things. Like when the girls come in in their short skirts and bikini tops, I'm too busy moping and worrying and feeling miserable to take any notice.
I also need to stop crying myself to sleep, and sleeping full stop would be a good idea. I got about 3 hours again last night cos I went to bed at 11.30 and woke up at 2am to go to the loo, and then couldn't get back to sleep again til about 6. If you asked me why I couldn't sleep I don't know, what was going through my mind? All sorts of irrelevant crap, some of it to do with my life at the moment, other stuff to do with trivial bollocks. Then when I did get to sleep this morning I had bad dreams about...well nasty stuff, creepy freaky nasty stuff that I hope I don't have to dream again.
Well four weeks on monday I'll be jetting off to Jersey with my mum. Something to look forward to anyway.