Giving up
I gave up on myself a while ago, there's no understanding me. Now I'm giving up on Pete, as he so obviously has given up on me. He hasn't spoken to me since we went for a drink on tuesday after my interview. He's not answering his texts at any rate, so that amounts to not speaking to me. I'm guessing he's read something on here that he didn't like very much.
Sometimes it's easier to write stuff on here before I speak to someone, it gets it all a bit clearer in my head, most of the time. As my best mate said once, it's like free therapy.
Sometimes I need it more than others tho. Feel like I need it quite a lot at the moment cos everything's fucked. Lol, I'll work it out eventually. Now I think I'm gonna go and think about stuff to talk about in an interview...
4 Comments:
Did you read the comments I left you a few days ago? Don't give up on yourself and don't let your mum make you be someone other than who you want to be- she accepts gayness and a lot of parents don't so that's a start. If my parents saw me snogging andy they'd go eww, because they don't want to think about their child have a sexual relationship, regardless of what sex their partner is! You are not suffering 'teenage angst' you are suffering depression and you need to find a sympathetis doctor/ phsych. There are some out there! And you need the confidence to be who you want to be- don't worry about hurting other people at the moment- the first person you need to be nice to is yourself xxx
Ring The Bells
"Ring ring the bells
Wake the town
Everyone is sleeping
Shout at the crowd
Wake them up
This anger's deeper than sleep
Got to keep awake to what is happening
I can't see a thing through my ambition,
I no longer feel my God is watching over me
Got to tell the world we've all been dreaming
This is not the end, a new beginning
I no longer feel my God is watching over me
Break break the code
Concentrate
Let the doors swing open
See through all your walls
All your floors
Now you're in deeper than sleep
Got to keep awake to what is happening
I can't see a thing through my ambition,
I no longer feel my God is watching over me
Got to tell the world we've all been dreaming
This is not the end, a new beginning
I no longer feel my God is watching over me
When you let me fall
Grew my own wings
Now I'm as tall as the sky
When you let me drown
Grew gills and fins
Now I'm as deep as the sea
When you let me die
My spirit's free
There's nothing challenging me"
Think it.
Do it.
yeah ok, I do read your comments hun, and I do take em on board, is just kinda hard sometimes to think positive and keep pushing.
Thank you tho for the pep talks they are appreciated xxx
And I wish the person who keeps leaving anonymous commenst on here would let me know who they are...please?
I worry that I sound nagging/patronising sometimes- don't mean two I just hope that by having a different perspective on stuff I can let you know that it's not all hopeless... I'm not claiming to understand exactly what you are going through or be some sort of mega sorted annoyingly sane person,.. but well I'm not really sure where I'm going with this! Just keep fighting xxx
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