Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Tattoos

Sooo, mine and Joey's birthday's almost coincide...her's is 13th sept, mine is 8th, so we've decided to meet up for a drink sometime in that week. Should be fun.
But the lovely Joey has come up with the idea of us getting tattoos while we're there. Heh. I have been thinking about it for a while, but only as a kind of idle wondering. I don't know what I'd get for starters, and it's kinda permanent, with a piercing, if you don't like it you can take it out, but you're stuck with a tattoo. If I can find something I like that I can live with for the rest of my life, then I might well do it, after all, you're only young once, but it's not going to be tacky, and it's going to be black, and preferably it's going to be original...

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Memories

This time last year I was really happy. Not that I'm not this year, is just different thats all. My first blogger blog entry was about going for a walk with Pete round Arrowe Park and Greasby, and Royden Park and Thurstaston and Irby. Peace and quiet, and sun, and ultimately sunburn too. It was amazing. I want to do that again soon...just meet up somewhere and just walk. It's not the kind of thing you can plan really tho, has to be spur of the moment. I think spur of the moment times is what some of the best memories are made of. Sometimes things that are planned too much don't work as well as if you just take off and do stuff.

And I'm writing a sci fi ish story about lesbians. Just thought I'd mention that. Is not that I have an obsession with lesbians or anything...I must have written at least one story that hasn't got lesbians in it...

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Happy anniversary

Yesterday was the first anniversary of my blogger blog. One whole year! So...

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday dear Kate's Life.

Happy birthday to youuuuuuu!


Hip hip

HOORAY!

Hip hip

HOORAY!

Dey do der Dudek Dance Dough, don't dey dough

heh. Phrase of the evening last night after watching Liverpool win the Champions league final. Now I'm not a football fan in general, and I have to say that when Pete suffested going to watch the match at a mate's house, I wasn't all that keen. And then watching the first, second and third goals go in for Milan, everyone was like...it's all over.
I have never bitten my nails so much in 3 hours as I did last night! To come back from 3-0 down....well, it's games like that that make me realise what people see in football. It was the best match I've ever seen, and I can only imagine what the atmosphere was like in Istanbul!
We coined the phrase 'Dudek Dance' during the penalty shoot out...and then after the match some of the drunker people in the house went outside and made lots of noise and did the dance at passing cars...heh.
One of the commentators made a very good point last night. He said that even if you think you've won, even if you're 3-0 up and there seems like no chance in hell that they're going to catch up, that they are dead and buried, never ever turn your back on them, cos they'll never give up, and they'll leap up and tear you to pieces. A truer word was never spoken, and last night's win just proves it. It was the tortoise and the hare story of football lol!

Nice one Liverpool, you're all fucking amazing!

(And lets hope Dudek gets a bit more credit for his goal keeping skills now, if not his goal-dancing skills ;-) I bet he dances like that in night clubs too!)

Monday, May 23, 2005

R.I.P. Pusstat ? 1990? - May 2005

So. Poor Pusstat has caught his last mouse, and fought his last fight. He died on saturday night. He was about fifteen, which I suppose is good going for a cat, especially an out door cat that hasn't been pampered.
It's the end of an era, no more running down the garden with a bucket of water when he's fighting the beast of bodmin that lives down the road, no more plaintive miaowing to be let in, and then ten minutes later, more plaintive miaowing to be let out, no more hideous crunching of mice when we're trying to enjoy the peace and quiet of the garden (or even worse, when we're having a barbecue), no more needley claws in the legs when we're watching tv, and in my mums case, no more sneezing.
Yes, since he arrived in our garden (or more precisely, since my dad locked him in the shed for a week) in 1995, Pusstat has brought us happy memories (and quite a few vet bills from fighting anything and everything that moved in the garden including the alsatian dog, Monty). He will be missed.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Thunderstorms

I never noticed before, but thunderstorms make me really horny. ;o)

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Words of silence

Whats the fucking point? I mean really, when it all comes down to it whats the point in anything?
And why do people do the things they do and react in the ways they do? What do people think about when they do things that hurt other people? I sure as hell don't know. I don't even know what I think when I'm hurting people, cos despite everything and all my good intentions, I still seem to hurt people. I suppose it is a fact of life that no matter how hard you try, you can't keep everyone happy all of the time, and you're bound to hurt someone sometime. It sucks that life has to be that way. I hate the way I feel at the moment, and I hate the way some people feel about me. I can't seem to get the balance right. Sometimes I do things that hurt people and I don't even know what I've done.
Love is such a bizarre thing. It can be soo sweet and special and wonderful, and it can break your heart and make you feel like shit all in the same instance. At the moment I feel like the love I have is like a big red bouncy ball, it was all bright and intense and stuff, but it's been left out in the sun too long and it's kinda faded to a dull pink. It's still there, still the same size and shape, it's just different to what it was, and it worries me. I guess love does change over time, I just didn't want it to. I don't think I am explaining myself very well, I don't think I ever do really.
I wish I could say the right things to make people understand. I wish I didn't have to think about this night and day. I wish I didn't hurt people.
I wish I had spoken to Pete more this morning, instead of being so deep in thought it was like he wasn't there. And I wish he'd spoken to me and made me feel wanted.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

My new hair Posted by Hello

Saturday, May 14, 2005

The Truth Hurts

It does, it really does. I felt last night that the things I told Pete about how I was feeling the other week had done nothing but damage. I think, I hope we repaired some of that damage last night and today. He wants e to be completely honestwith him and tell him everyhting that I'm feeling, but when I do, it hurts him. And he wonders why I sometimes don't tell him stuff, and why I do find it hard to talk about my feelings and stuff.
:::sigh:::
On a lighter note, I dyed my hair. It was supposed to be a nice coppery colour, but has turned out a strange bright reddy orange. I like it anyway, remains to be seen whether the boss does on monday lol

Friday, May 13, 2005

Bad news, good news and more good news

Well, I haven't written for a bit...other things to do and stuff. First bad news...my friend had to go into hospital again for another operation. Good news, he's ok, he's probably back home now, which reminds me I should text him or summat to make sure.
Second bit of good news...My mate Clare is pregnant. Is kinda cool and scary at the same time, but I always knew that she'd be the first of us to have babies. Erm, only because she's always been keen on having kids, and she's the type of person that is going to make a great mum. I'm really happy for her, and she sounds really excited about it. She is three months gone, so it should be due sometime november if I've done my sums right lol. Heh, you never know, if I ever finish this scarf, I might knit some booties or something heh!

Incidentally, scarf length now is about 15inches

Monday, May 09, 2005

Strange Days

It has been an odd couple of days. At least at work, everything else has been fairly normal, and comfortable and sane.
Saying that tho, it only started getting strange and exciting late sunday afternoon, about 5 minutes before closing time, when a man, Eddie, decided to fall over outside the store (I don't actually think it was by choice, in fact I'm pretty certain it wasn't intentional, but fall over he did). I got a chair for him, and two lads picked him up, but he didn't look well, so I rang an ambulance, explained what had happened and they said they would send one out. Two seconds after I had put the phone down, a lady rushed in and said that Eddie had decided to get up and had collapsed again around the corner. Rushing out I found him on the floor, with a cut on his head complaining of chest pains and a pain in his left arm, he had gone a funny purple colour too. Now I've seen casualty and Holby City, not to mention doing a few first aid courses, and all this was suggesting to me HEART ATTACK in big flashing neon letters in my brain, so I left him in the capable hands of some bystanders who were making him comfortable, talking to him and stuff, and ran to ring back the ambulance people to seeif they could hurry it up a bit (they did say that if his condition deteriorated to ring them back, and I reckoned that a heart attack probably constituted 'deteriorated' compared to just a fall), by the time I'd done that, and given the keys to Will to lock up, and got back to him, his wife had been summoned from the pub down the road, and was being hysterical at him...I think she thought he was going to die, but he was talking and stuff, so I thought he'd probably be alright (then again, if you watch casualty, it's the ones that talk and move about that are the ones that die by the end of the show). The ambulance turned up pretty sharpish anyway, about 10 minutes after the first call, and they had carted him away to hospital by the time I'd locked up the shop and got out.
Was talking to a friend of his today, and she told me that they had kept him in overnight, and had sent him home the following morning, so he can't have been too bad...something to do with blood pressure pills the doc had given him, and they had reacted badly with his angina, or something. He is ok at least so I'm relieved about that.
Today, well today was drunks and shoplifters...on one occasion both together in the same body enclosed in a stinking pair of piss soaked Jog-pants. God I love my job. When I got into work, three members of staff were herding him out of the shop, after he had tried to nick 2 cans of special brew, and had tried to attack Joan with his walking stick when she tried to stop him. He came back half an hour later, and only me and Jean were on the till, so I rang the bell for the boss who came running up and was promptly attacked with the walking stick again, albeit feebly, but even so. He didn't come back this afternoon, for which I am profoundly grateful, but we did, at about 5 to 5, get a drunk with an axe. Now the law states that you're not supposed to sell alcohol to people who are already drunk. Well I am sorry, but there isn't any way on earth that I'm going to upset a drunk with an axe (not a little hand axe either, a bloody big chopping down trees kind of axe) by not giving him his drink, but neither do I want to be fined for serving alcohol to a drunk, so I rang my bell and let Bob sort it out. Heh, Bob sold him the bottle of wine anyway. I don't think he would have attacked anyone with the axe, but on the whole I think it's safer not to risk finding out.
Oh the joys of working in Hoylake, the crazy capital of the Wirral.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Slap up meals

Pete took me out for a meal on Friday, at Ego's in Liverpool. It's very posh, but because Pete's brother is a chef there we kinda get it a bit cheaper than usual. The food, it has to be said, is amazing! I got quite drunk because of the bottle of wine each that came with the meal. I'm not usually a big wine drinker, and definately not red wine, but I drank a bottle of white, and tried some of Pete's red, which was also really nice. It just shows, you never know until you try.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Fly the copter

Fly the copter

Try this it's fun, and addictive

Monday, May 02, 2005

Trauma

Me and Pete nearly split up tonight. I'm still not entirely one hundred percent sure I made the right choice, I'm having one of those crisis of confidence times when I'm not sure I'm where I want to be or with the person I should be with, and well to put it bluntly, the last few weeks, Pete hasn't helped a lot in making me feel any more secure about my feelings for him. Not because he's been angry or done anything bad, just by being a bit paranoid and jealous and silly.
I do love him, one thing I am sure about, just I don't know whether I love him enough. We talked it over amid lots of tears and stuff, and we're going to give us another chance and see if we can make it work, after all, we do love eachother, and you can't give up on nearly 3 years just like that. I'm happy most of the time, and as long as it stays that way, it's worth sticking to and working at. We'll either sort it out or we won't, I don't know if I made the right decision. It feels right at the moment, but there's still a stupid tiny niggly doubt at the back of my mind...it's saying 'are you staying with him because you're afraid of being alone?' I don't think I am, I'm pretty sure I'm staying with him because I love him, and because he does, in the majority of circumstances, make me happy. Still I guess everyone has doubts like these sometimes...please tell me you do? Tell me I'm normal and not a crazy bitch!

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Jack

Jack's a great bloke. I mean really great. We talked for ages last night, about all sorts of shit, and it was good. I'd forgotten how much he makes me laugh, and I didn't realise how much I'd missed our conversations...crazy conversations sometimes...until we got talking last night. We have so got to have another mini meet sometime...Me, Jack, Joey, Lee, Hab...It's got to happen.