Words of silence

Whats the fucking point? I mean really, when it all comes down to it whats the point in anything?
And why do people do the things they do and react in the ways they do? What do people think about when they do things that hurt other people? I sure as hell don't know. I don't even know what I think when I'm hurting people, cos despite everything and all my good intentions, I still seem to hurt people. I suppose it is a fact of life that no matter how hard you try, you can't keep everyone happy all of the time, and you're bound to hurt someone sometime. It sucks that life has to be that way. I hate the way I feel at the moment, and I hate the way some people feel about me. I can't seem to get the balance right. Sometimes I do things that hurt people and I don't even know what I've done.
Love is such a bizarre thing. It can be soo sweet and special and wonderful, and it can break your heart and make you feel like shit all in the same instance. At the moment I feel like the love I have is like a big red bouncy ball, it was all bright and intense and stuff, but it's been left out in the sun too long and it's kinda faded to a dull pink. It's still there, still the same size and shape, it's just different to what it was, and it worries me. I guess love does change over time, I just didn't want it to. I don't think I am explaining myself very well, I don't think I ever do really.
I wish I could say the right things to make people understand. I wish I didn't have to think about this night and day. I wish I didn't hurt people.
I wish I had spoken to Pete more this morning, instead of being so deep in thought it was like he wasn't there. And I wish he'd spoken to me and made me feel wanted.