Endings

S last night I went to see ooster live in concert. It was a good gig, and the support band 'The Upper Room' were good too. After that we went to the Krazy house. Me, Hab, Pete and Jackie, who is a friend of Petes.
While in the Kray, I ot a bit drunk, finally ended things properly with Pete, had a few panic attacks, cried a lot, got even more drunk and felt like a complete bitch. Me and Hab talked a bit about various things. Then I realised that Pete had taken a pill, and that upset me all the more because he only does that when he's really upset. Towards the end of the night, Jackie, who blatantly has fancied Pete for ages decided to jump on him. He didn't fight her off even tho he's professed not to be interested in her for the last week or so when I've mentioned it. I guess either the pill or the head fucking that I gave him forced him into it. I hope he doesn't hurt her just because he's upset with me, or about me or whatever. I feel very guilty and not very nice, telling him that I don't love him anymore, when I know ho he feels about me, and I know he took Jackie home with him and that she really likes him and it will probably all end in tears and now I kinda feel responsible for that as well. Like everything is my fault. Even tho I was only doing what was right, like I can't pretend anymore that it's going to be alright and that I'm going to fall in love with him again. So it's better that I'm not with him at all. He said he would always be there for me. But then he went and got pilled and sat in front of me with Jackie all over eachother, so I don't know what's going on in his head. Strangely, it didn't really bother me that he was shoving her in my face...I think if it hadn't been just then they would make a cute couple, but I'm just worried for him, and her that they are setting themselves up for a lot of heartache. I can't interfere. It's none on my business, and it's partly my doing anyway...What am I supposed to do? shout at him for being upset and doing stupid stuff? We all do it. I self harm, he sleeps with random women...it's all self destruction.