Aol nightmares

I did write a long blog last night about christmas and seeing family and friends and how it had been good, but due to aol being an arse, it froze up before I could publish and hence I lost it all...stupid me for not writing it in word and copy/pasting, but there you go. We did have a dialler virus/program thing too, dad nearly had a coronary when he realised the thing had been working for close on 24 hours and had visions of £15000 phone bills, but it turns out that the thing had either not been dialling at all, or had been only dialling freephone numbers. either very stupid or very devious. Anyway, that was the main gyst of last nights post...grrr @ aol.

Christmas Insanity

Christmas is a time of year when there should be peace on earth and goodwill to all men. Instead the crazy people come out in droves and start killing, maiming and injuring eachother and the innocents around them. Three stories on the news caught my attention this week:
The first was a story about a woman in Missouri, who brutally strangled a pregnant woman, then cut the baby from her womb and absconded with it. The police caught her, and returned the baby, who is doing well (as far as I know from the news), to her father.
The second story was about a group of men who attempted to steal a car from a father, when the man tried to stop them driving off with his car and his baby, they threw the child from the window of the moving vehicle.
The third was about a psychiatric ward in France, where two murders took place, two nurses on the night shift were found dead, one had been beheaded and her head left on top of the television, the second had had her throat cut. Apparently the French government is now going to review security in it's psychiatric wards...Well woo hoo for them, it's a bit late now don't you think?
Anyway, the stories got me thinking about all the craziness and shit there is in the world, and how we view different crimes as either merely bad, or horrific. Would the strangling of the american woman have even made news over here if she hadn't had her unborn baby stolen from her body, would the crime have been so horrific if she had not been pregnant? If the men who stole the car had just stolen the car and not thrown the baby from the window would it have made news? I think not. The thing is, all crime affects the victims, just because a crime is not horrific or sensationalist enough to make the headlines doesn't mean that it is irrelevant or petty. Somebody has suffered because of it.
And as well as that, it seems that the christmas season brings out the crazy people, and the weirdos, and the sickos, and the ultra violent. Or maybe it's just that we notice it more because it's christmas and inside of us we're all dreaming of peace and goodwill, and every bad thing that happens, every violent act, every maiming and death that we hear about on the news makes that dream seem a little further away.

Job seeking

I applied for 3 jobs today. Well, I sent off two application letters, and an email for an application pack. One is a call centre job for the charity commission, but it's inbound calls not out bound, and it's basically to help people with charity queries that they might have like how to set up a charity, or administration queries etc., one is an office assistant at wallasey golf club, which I'm not too keen on, but I desperately need to get out of the co op, and if I get a bit of office experience there, I can always move somewhere better in the furure, the other is a lab assistant at a packaging andfood quality place on the north cheshire trading estate, or just down the road within walking distance to put it in laymans terms. It sounds like it could be ok, although I am rather over qualified for the post...it says on th ad that 'good scince gcse's would be an advantage', having gcse's, a-levels and a degree they might think I'm a fool for trying for that particualr post, but my reasonig is that if I apply and they think I'd be better in a higher up role, then they might either employ me temporarily in that role then promote me, or they may have something higher up for me, it's worth a try anyway. I will let you know how it goes.
Not doing so well with the getting up and going to the Gym, but I'm working on it.

back to normal

Me and Pete are speaking again and things seem to be back to normal. He's was a bit down over the weekend, and like me, when he gets down he gets uncommunicative. He started a temping job today just until christmas, doing charity telesales. It made me chuckle a bit because he's always hated telesales persons, and here he is being one, if only for a short while.
Anyway, Pete seems a lot happier, and I'm coping ok with being back at work. My diabetes is fairly stable again so thats a good sign. I'm monitoring myself a lot more than I was, and eating better, less chocolate and more healthier options. I still reckon I need to eat more fruit, but instead of the chocolate I'm going more for cereal bars and yoghurty stuff instead. Not that I've managed to avoid chocolate altogether, when the co op has started selling irish cream flavour rolo's it's quite difficult to resist completely, but it's not like I'm eating packets of them a day, just an occasional couple maybe after lunch or tea or whatever. I have managed to avoid the pick n mix too which is good, I had been eating jelly beans by the handful, which can't be good for me, but I'm glad to say I haven't had one single jelly bean since I was ill. ok so it's only been a week and a half, but hey, I haven't missed them either.
I have to say I do feel a lot better in myself, happier, healthier, I just need to master the art of getting out of bed at a sensible hour and going to the gym. One step at a time tho, can't do everything all at once...

stuff

I'm in a writey mood, but I don't know what to write. I'm also feeling kinda restless and a bit horny, but as Pete doesn't appear to be speaking to me anymore, it looks like I'm stuck. We had a bit of text convo before, it seems he feels I've been neglecting him recently. I don't know, this time last week I was ill, the week before I was at his and a couple of days later I was throwing up. I don't know any more, I wasn't exactly myself even before I was ill, so maybe I was neglecting him a bit. I haven't heard from him for a few hours now. I'm loath to phone him cos I'm kinda pissed off and I know if I call him I'll just get annoyed at him and shout and stuff and it will just make things worse. Maybe tomorrow when I've calmed down a bit.
I was going to write more, but I just remembered I need to make myself some lunch for tomorrow...eek

Men!

I don't know what I've done. Pete is being funny with me again, and I'm somewhat at a loss to understand why. I haven't seen him since thursday when we went christmas shopping together, and since then we've hardly spoken to eachother. I spoke to him briefly online on thursday night, but got the impression that he didn't really want to talk...I asked him if he was ok and he said he was, so I left it at that. He had an interview on friday and got lost in Deeside, then bit my head off for asking how long he'd been lost for. Then yesterday he didn't seem interested at all, even when I texted him it was like he didn't want to talk to me. Today he was christmas shopping, and didn't want me to go see him when he got home.
I don't know what's up, but we can't go on like this...

Jungle Juice

I have been taking something that my mum suggested might give me a boost. Aloe Vera juice. It tastes like a cross between TCP and Jeyes Fluid (i.e. Vile), but is supposed to boost the immune system, give you more energy and generally improve your well being. I'm not sure if it is working yet, but I've only been taking it for a few days. Mum say's she feels much better on it, so I'm giving it a try.
As well, I also finished my christmas shopping so YAY!

Christmas shopping

I have more energy at the moment than I have had in a long long time. And it's fantastic! I have been up before 9am 2 days on the run now, actually doing stuff too not just sitting in bed reading. My bedroom has never looked so tidy, I've got all my christmas lists written, done some food shopping, and most of my christmas shopping too. Went downtown with my gorgeous baby today and blitzed both out families christmas shopping lists. We both still got a few things to get, but we're nearly there. Spent quite a bit, but after this week, I can cut down a bit and stop spending.
I'm (as you can probably tell) quite cheerful. It makes a refreshing change, and I'm hoping it lasts! Fingers crossed...

Where have I been?

Where to begin, it's been a long, long week, and a while since I last wrote. Beginning of last week I stayed at Pete's a bit cos his mum was away, so that was nice, to spend a bit of time with him on our own. Then I got the bug. Being sick lots is not nice, and doesn't leave a lot of energy for anything else, so thats why I wasn't around much at the end of the week. When I finally stopped throwing up, I couldn't eat because of horrendous acid indigestion/heartburn and when I went to the out of hours GP yesterday to see if there was anything they could give me for it, they checked me over, did a blood test to make sure my diabetes was ok, and sent me straight to A&E. I have been in hospital since yesterday lunchtime on an insulin drip.
A long and quite eventful week, and not one that I'd like to repeat any time soon. I'm home now tho, and not being sick, feeling ok (at the moment-we'll keep an eye on that), and hoping that the worst is over and I can get back to work and normal fairly soon.
I think perhaps that thi has been a bit of a wake up call for me, I need to start looking after myself better, eating better, trying to be less stressed and stuff, easier said than done, but I don't want another spell in hospital with people sticking needles and drips in me and pricking my fingers every hour to see what my blood glucose levels are...health worries do not help with the general abject misery and depression, although I suspect that if things have been wrong with my body for a while that it may have something to do with the depression, or vice versa, everything is connected as they say. Anyway, even if it's not connected and I'm just a moody cow :-) looking after myself a bit better can only be beneficial and will onl assist my quest for general wellbeing, so from now I'm going to try a bit harder. I'm not making any huge monumental promises to myself like 'I'll never eat chocolate again' or anything, but I think a general polish of my lifestyle and eating habit wouldn't go amis.... I'll keep you posted.