Wednesday, June 30, 2004

A bit about Me

I realised that though I write a lot of stuff on here, many of you won't know a hell of a lot of details about me as a person. I know my profile doesn't say a lot, and thats the way I like it really, I like to be quiet and enigmatic, but now I feel it's time to come clean about a few things.
The two main things about me that people don't get to know straight off is a) I'm a diabetic, and b) I'm bisexual. The bisexual thing most people get first, cos I'm prone to dropping some heavy hints (usually along the lines of 'cor she's cute', or 'I'd do her!' maybe not quite so vulgar, but you get the idea). The Diabetes thing is something I've lived with for more years than I like to remember, I was diagnosed at 17 months old, and I'm now nearly twenty six, so you can do the maths if you want, I really can't be bothered ;-) My GP at the time, told my mother she was being neurotic and there was nothing wrong with me, I was 'only teething' apparently. Fortunatley my Mum ignored him and got a second opinion or my life could have been much different, shorter for one. Anyway, being diabetic sucks for the most part. I kinda have it under control most of the time, but as with everything there's good days and bad days. My addiction to cream cakes doesn't do it much good, but I've tried to cut it down to one a week ;-)
I hate being labelled, I am not 'a diabetic', I am a PERSON with diabetes. I know I'm usually quite scathing about political correctness, but this is one instance where the PC lobby are right, just because you have a disability or an illness, doesn't make you that disability or illness, you're still a person, I'm still a person, just because I have a problem with my health... :::gets off soap box::: It's kinda the same with the bisexual thing being bisexual isn't the be-all and end-all, there are other aspects to my personality.
I first suspected I 'wasn't quite right' in school, probably about fifteen. It scared the hell out of me, I wanted to be 'normal' like the other kids, but never really fitted in anyway with most of the other kids at my school. It was at college that I finally accepted in myself that I was attracted to women and men, but even then I was afraid of people's reactions to it, and I didn't come out for ages. I vividly remember the first person I told. I'm not sure why I did then, other than the fact that I was a little bit drunk and needed to talk to someone. I was pleasantly surprised by peoples reactions (tho as yet I haven't found a way of telling my mum and dad, there's not really any need for them to know while I'm seeing Pete), Everyone was really supportive and just took it in their stride. A couple of people were surprised, but others just smiled like they'd known all along. I'm happy in myself now that I can be open about it. I don't know if that was my problem when I was in school and college...repressing how I felt, and not being able to talk to anyone because of fear, I felt so much better when I got it into the open...

Ahh I feel like I'm waffling now, ad I've probably said too much and bored you all. Depending how I feel tomorrow about what I've said tonight there may be more, then again I may be too embarrassed for bearing my soul like that and never come back ;-)

Things to be grateful for...
1. Beechams Powders
2. Bacon crispies.
3. Honesty and openess

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